Lately my prayer journal has been filled with cries; cries for help, for change. I want it with everything I have. I want to break this chain of apathy. I’m so tired of living with a tank that reads ‘empty’. I’m tired of feeling like there is nothing more. like this is it. This cannot be it! It just, it just can’t be. If this is it, what is the point of living? What is the point of trudging through life with no greater goal at the end? What is the point of living a life that is devoid of emotion? If there is a point, please tell me. But, personally, I don’t believe that living a life with no strong, beautiful emotions is a life at all. Instead, it is like you are the walking dead.
dear God,
what will wake me? i need to be awakened. i feel like i am asleep, that i am slumbering and that i need You to come along and wake me. i can’t do it myself. wake me! open my eyes! show me Your glory!
We are made to be vibrant, to scream from the mountain tops. Our hearts should shatter when we see the photo of a child (or adult) in need. Our hearts should fill with love when we look upon the world and its inhabitants. When we see sin and evil, our hearts should burn with anger within us. What we see broken, we should pray to be made whole with our whole being. What is tired, we should wish to lift up and infuse with the love and life of Christ. We should be a reservoir, being filled and overflowing onto everyone who comes into contact with us. Praise should be on our lips at all times. We are loved by a great God! If our God is as great as we profess, and as personal as the Bible states, why don’t we jealously guard ourselves and others? If He is worth everything we have (well, His worth has no end…) and He is our all in all, why don’t we hate what He hates, and love what He loves? If He lives within us, why don’t we converse with Him about what is truly on out minds? Why don’t we lift in prayer the desires of His heart? Why aren’t His desires ours? What has happened to us?
dear Lord,
‘all i am with out You Lord
is dry bones,
a desert soul’
i love You Lord. i want to love You more. i need You God. i want to need You more. i want You to consume me, to take over all of my thoughts. only You can truly satisfy me. no one, nothing can satisfy me like only You can. take me, break me, pour me out and fill me with You. when others look at me i want them to see You. i want to be Your hands and feet.
Love,
Lauren
